I Feel Loved | Exercises | Blog | Better Marriages | Educating Couples - Building Relationships

I Feel Loved

I Feel Loved

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As pleasant as it is to feel appreciated and loved, many of us confess an uncomfortable awkwardness when  receiving verbal affirmation. Indeed, we often hear ourselves and others denying, belittling, or excusing compliments.

  1. Take time  to  write  down  the things  you  love  and  cherish  in  your  mate.  Consider  physical, emotional, and spiritual qualities as well as particular actions.
  1. With lists in hand, make some physical contact such as holding hands and take turns going through your list, mentioning all the things you love and cherish in each other.  While  your partner is telling  you these things, your role is to listen and receive, not to analyze or question.

Remember, this is an exercise in receiving love, so just drink it in like a sponge soaking up water, or like parched land drinking in rain. Bask in it as you would in warm sunshine.

  1. When both of you have  completed your  lists,  share any feelings  you have about the  exchange and talk about them together.


Individually complete the following sentence with at least five actions or behaviors  your spouse has done (at any time) that helped  you feel loved or that you have especially appreciated. Take turns telling your partner what you wrote.

  1. I feel loved when. . . (or) I appreciate it when. . .
  1. Which one of the behaviors your partner stated would you be willing to repeat more frequently?
  1. According to marriage specialist and bestselling author, Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 Languages o f Love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Based on your statements to Item #4 above, what is your primary love language?  What do you think is your partner’s primary love language? Share these answers with your partner.