How to reignite the sparks from your earliest days together | Articles | Blog | Better Marriages | Educating Couples - Building Relationships

How to reignite the sparks from your earliest days together

Are you like me? When I met Greg (the one-and-only love of my life) I had butterflies in my stomach! When we met (I was engaged to be married to another man 3 months later. . . ). I knew I’d met the man of my dreams!

Can you relate?

This initial stage of a relationship is often referred to as “the honeymoon phase” – the high period before life starts returning to normal, albeit a new normal.

While this state of intense attraction usually won’t last forever, it doesn’t mean that we can’t continue to play footsies under the table and other little things we did in those early days. After recently celebrating our 47th anniversary, I can tell you from personal experience: the honeymoon phase doesn’t have to simply be a distant memory.

Can you relate? Or not? It’s easy for a couple, even with the best of intentions, to let their relationship enter into a mundane rhythm or worse – drift apart entirely. If you’re looking for some tips on how to reignite sparks during those crucial moments, keep reading.

It’s the little things.

Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest impact. Instead of renewing your vows or making a grand public declaration of your love, the way we choose to treat each other makes the biggest difference.

Some ideas:

  • Take your partner a cup of coffee and enjoy it together in bed
  • At the end of the day, share a glass of lemonade or wine while watching the sun set from your patio
  • Listen, really listen when your partner talks. Show them you care about what they’re saying.
  • Treat each other with simple politeness, kindness, and respect.
  • Check out these other tips.

Demonstrating gratitude and compassion in your everyday life can also help to keep things fresh. Perhaps you’ve become so comfortable in the relationship that you start to take things for granted, and forget how important it is to show your love and appreciation on a regular basis.

Break routine

We’re all creatures of habit, and often people benefit from having a set weekly schedule to follow. However, if you’re looking to recapture some of the spontaneity that’s inevitably present during the honeymoon phase, try and mix up your routine with something different every now and then.

Whether you try out a new restaurant for dinner, learn a new skill together, or travel to that place you’ve always spoken about, doing something together for the first time can bring back the magic of the dating stage, when everything is fresh. When other life commitments get in the way, it’s easy for couples to allow quality time with one another to slip down their list of priorities, but making a conscious effort to snap out of your routine can work wonders for your relationship.

Make future plans

If things aren’t as exciting as they once were, it’s easy to fall into a rut and get bogged down in the monotony of day-to-day life. This leads many couples to adopt a short-sighted approach, which can only exacerbate and intensify any issues they’re experiencing in the present. But sometimes looking beyond our current situation can be helpful. You don’t necessarily need to make a 50-year plan of what your lives together will look like, but looking forward to the little things that the future holds for you is a great way to reignite the spark. After all, looking forward to the future is all you have to do at the start of any relationship.

Plan next year’s holiday and make a concerted effort to start saving the money together, so you can make the most of your time away. Or, start thinking about what your first home together will look like, or the changes you want to make to your existing property. Even if you’re yet to make a life-long commitment to one another, looking ahead to all the wonderful things to come can be a great way to remind yourself of the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.

Planning a future wedding? Check out this free Guide: Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist.

Hang out with like-minded couples

You don’t have to go it alone. There are lots of common issues that couples experience in their relationships. But how often do we stay in our isolated silo?

Other couples with a similar mindset can introduce joy and accountability. Why not double date? Greg and I have friends in Kansas City that bring out the best in our relationship. We take turns planning outings – unusual things that we might not even think to do by ourselves:

  • Go on a bar-b-que tour and make the rounds of different BBQ restaurants. Believe me, in Kansas City there are plenty to choose from!
  • Pack a picnic and attend a live music concert in the park.
  • Get together over dinner on the patio and explore Conversation Starters to enrich your relationship with each other and with your friends.
  • Go to a play, visit a winery, go to a dine-in movie theatre…
  • Create a Date Night – here are some ideas.
  • The sky’s the limit. Be creative!

What’s important is hanging out with couples who care as much about their relationship as you do. You’ll bring out the best in each other and have a blast doing it.


Author bio: Georgia Bury

Georgia is a wedding planner who has gained over a decade’s worth of experience in the industry. When she’s not organizing venues and vendors, Georgia loves to explore her passion for travel, and enjoys finding inspiration for her career from the places she visits.