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How to Stop Fighting About Money


Young Couple: How to stop fighting about money










One of the most notoriously combustible topics is money. When left unaddressed in relationships, even the healthiest couples can become plagued by financial disagreement. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Check out these tips to learn how to get on the same financial page with your partner and how to stop fighting about money.

Be Willing to Listen

The first step toward bettering your financial communication is hearing and acknowledging each other’s differences. Get everything out on the table. You might be a saver, while your partner is a spender. Maybe you grew up in a family with a tighter budget, while your partner’s family had more discretionary spending money. Differences are okay and should be respected, particularly when it’s time to have money talks. Use them to create a balance between one another. If you’re both willing to hear each other’s perspectives, you’ll be better prepared to make mutually beneficial decisions for your budget and emergency fund.

Be careful not to nag one another or downplay personal experiences as you have these conversations. This is where good listening is most important. If you and your partner can learn each other’s personality styles as they pertain to money, it’ll be much easier to approach financial conversations moving forward.

Think Toward the Future

If one partner isn’t considering their financial future, it can be frustrating for the partner who’s a planner. To avoid this, start asking each other specific questions about the future. Whether your primary financial goal is to pay off student loans, buy your first home, or save for your child’s college education, communicating to your partner what is financially important to you is the best way to set goals together. Once you’re both on the same page, it’ll be much easier to discuss your finances.

Attack Debt Together

Debt is stressful, especially in a marriage. The best thing you can do to save yourselves from headaches and heartache is to make it a priority to pay it off. You may have to make some short-term sacrifices to reach this long-term goal, but it’ll be worth it. And doing what you can to neutralize a shared pain point is a great way to work as a team.


If you want to stop fighting over money, you’ll need to become very familiar with compromise. While this isn’t to say that you should completely upend your individual goals or financial plans, it does mean you’ll need to meet in the middle more. Remember to always be kind to one another. Marriage is hard, and bringing up financial issues is even harder. Be honest with yourself and your partner, consider dividing financial responsibilities, hold yourself accountable for your own spending, and don’t shy away from the money talk when things get tough. After all, building your compatibility starts with building your communication skills.

Money is an emotional topic, and how you deal with it has a direct effect on your relationship. You won’t be able to avoid these conversations forever, so it’s best to learn how to fight fair and work together.