Are You Too Busy to Preserve the Intimacy? | Dr. Jackie Black | Blog | Better Marriages | Educating Couples - Building Relationships

Are You Too Busy to Preserve the Intimacy?

by Jackie Black, Ph.D., BCC

The holidays can be a busy time with lots of competing priorities. You and your loved ones have many legitimate needs and wants, and family obligations are more than likely pulling you in this direction and that direction.
So much to do!

Maintaining the highest level of intimacy with your partner is arguably the most important being priority.

  • Intimacy isn’t an automatic response.
  • Intimacy isn’t a given because you love someone or feel loved by someone.
  • Intimacy doesn’t come with a commitment or with a marriage license.

Creating, nurturing and maintaining intimacy, especially at times when outside existential needs seem to take center stage, must remain at the top of your list and at the front of your mind.
That requires your intention, deliberate choice and deliberate action!  Nothing about creating intimacy and truly being intimate with your partner is unconscious or should be left to chance.

Closeness is enhanced through purposeful sensitivity, tenderness and respect for each other.

Intimacy is the result of celebrating each other; celebrating each other’s presence and celebrating being in each other’s presence!

  • Be appreciative.
  • Offer acknowledgment.
  • Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
  • Be the most ardent cheerleader.
  • Be an enthusiastic supporter.
  • Applaud your partner’s efforts.
  • Extol his or her virtues.
  • Be generous of spirit and open hearted.
  • Always remember to be encouraging.

Deepening intimacy with your partner requires intention, commitment and planning; and is the responsibility of each partner.

There are no shoulds, musts or oughts.  It is essential for you and your partner to find your way to your own inner place of intimacy.  And the best way to do that is to mindfully and intentionally create times for connecting in ways that affirm and esteem each of you as individuals and that are compatible to the nature and structure of your marriage.

Be certain that your deliberate choice and deliberate action send the unmistakable message that you are happy to be with your Sweetheart and that your life is better and richer together than it could ever be alone.

Take the time to truly develop, take care of and preserve the intimacy with your partner, and you will enjoy the warmth and tenderness of the marriage you want and deserve.
I wish you well creating opportunities to deepen and enrich your love and your connection to each other!

Remember, only You can make it happen!